CHICKENS AND EAGLES, WHAT ARE YOU ?

On one of our many skype sessions my dad told me a story, it took me back to the days of sitting around the fire place in the village burning our fingers in hot coal trying to roast plum, corn or plantain. It tastes so good plantain and red oil with a dash of salt, or plantain and plum, not forgeting corn and plum but that one is a different topic. So my dad and I were talking and I was expressing my self to him about some worries, fears and challenges and as always my daddy has the answer for everything. so he says Nahsang let me tell you a story and I felt like a like little girl again.

Once upon a time (ten times) there was man(mango) who had a dog(doctor) the dog was white......lol ok seriously now

Once upon a time there was a man who raised chickens, one day he went hiking up the mountain and while he was up there he found an eagles nest with some eggs in it and decided to take one of the eagles eggs home with him, once he was home he put the eggs with some of other chicken eggs his hens had just laid so she can sit on it like the others until it was ready to hatch. the baby eagle hatched at almost the same time as the other chicks. the mother hen raised the baby eagle with her other chicks and the eagle thought it was a chicken too.
the baby eagle ate corn, rice, worms and dirt from the earth like the other chickens, played in the fields like the other  baby chickens. one day he saw some eagles flying up high over the mountains, and he asked his mother the hen " mom why don't we fly like those birds up over the mountains I would love to fly" the hen replied him " we are chickens we don't fly we run on the ground and eat from the earth" everyday the baby eagle looked at the other eagles flying and admired them so much but kept running on the ground with his fellow chickens. so many years went by and he stilled looked at the other eagles up in the sky with envy wishing he was up there, until one day one of the eagles spotted him from below and came down asked him " why are you running around here with these chickens and eating dirt? you are one of us, you are an eagle we fly high over the mountains." that day the eagle realized he was not he chicken and he could fly, he flew high over the mountains and never looked back.
moral of the story:
don't let anyone tell you that you are chicken, you are an eagle and can fly high over every challenge and obstacle. its never too late too fly you just need to realize that you are an eagle and stop running around below with chickens.
I love my Daddy, and Yes I am a flying eagle!

what have I been up to !?!

I've stayed away too long, But for very good reasons. a lot has happened I would not know where to start and where to finish. No worry I will Jist, that fact of the matter is Jist Dey.
things I have on my mind to share

WEIGHT LOSS
I didn't tell you, did I? Nahsang lost 70lbs in one year !!!!! and I'll tell you all about it in details too.

BABIES
I no tell you? my sister born oh! bouncing baby girl. she has pushed my child bearing urge another 5years forward, some things they don't tell you until you experience it first hand and am only the aunty mhmm, that pikin palava no easy at all.

NEW CITY
So I moved!!! it was so over due, but was waiting for the right time and right reason the minute I got it. I was on the go. so far ... I can't say I love it or hate we'll just have to see.

JACK OF ALL TRADE
you didn't know I was a hustler lol. I dabbled my way with hair until I developed a real interest and skill, I can say practice makes perfect am no where near perfect so I keep practicing. but when it comes to the kitchen I throw down, am no Chef but I put my heart in my cooking and I just love it, who doesn't love a good meal. I'll share some of my favorite recipes.

First LOVE

A love so tender so innocent


I was only 14 when I first laid eyes on you. I remember like it was yesterday its been almost 13years how time flies and you still have that face I fell in love with the prettiest eyes I have ever seen on a man. You were sitting right behind me but I didn't notice you till I stood up I didn't want to obstruct your view but I guess your view was me, yes I saw you, you couldn't take your eyes off me, that's when I noticed those eyes and that face.

I was kind of a tom boy, not your typical girly girl you can say, I just I wasn't into the latest fashions, trying to look pretty, give me a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and I was fine, I loved to play video games with the boys, and loved the out doors especially at 14 I just was one of the boys.
what did he see in me, I didn't think anyone found me pretty especially in those over sized school uniforms and that almost bald shaved head then I really looked like a guy not because I am not confident but just cause I didn't consider my self to be that girly plus everyone said I was fat or didn't he see that too?, well maybe I really was in his view and he couldn't help but stare at me.

Dancing is my passion its my life, I dance because its me, and as long as I have these two feet God gave me I shall dance, on that note I was doing what I do best, dancing. it was a school dance I forgot to mention and I get a tap on my shoulder, its the guy with the pretty eyes "do you want to dance?" me? no one ever asked me to dance I just was never the kind of girl that guys picked to dance with, it didn't bother me though I had more fun that way because I didn't have to act all proper and could just be myself. I was already dancing we might as well, OK now honestly it wasn't a dance to remember he had two left feet and couldn't dance to save his life but he was cute, I didn't mind he wouldn't qualify for dancing with the stars I was just glad he picked me, no one ever picked me. that did something for me I didn't understand at first, he made me feel wanted and that was good. He brought out the girl in me and eventually the woman.

It was the summer holidays, I remember like it was yesterday, that perfect unintentional first kiss, I dreamt about it for days I held my lips and I could see your face, I could smell your skin on mine I wonder if you felt the same way, I had butterflies for days, is this what love feels like, I thought I was going to fly there were so many butterflies in my stomach.
then you asked me to be your girlfriend, we were 15 I didn't know what to say but what I hear in movies, "I'll think about it" then ran home, shy. Me? his girlfriend? am I the luckiest girl on earth or what? there was no thinking about it he knew that my heart already belonged to him. he was my first love, first kiss, first boyfriend... the same man I lied to for so long to save our love or so I thought. a love so tender, so innocent shattered in lies, killed and gone forever?

But this love was doomed, from the start, you were so innocent, I had seen too much, heard too much and experienced things I wasn't supposed to. how do I start to tell you these things. what we shared was so beautiful and innocent I loved It I love you I didn't want to spoil it yet alone lose you. So I played a role, I made such a good actress, I played the role of your lady, the woman you wanted me to be and I was good. It became so easy being your lady than being me, I wanted to be yours not me cause you wouldn't want me, then the script ended...

I lied for so long to save a love so tender, so innocent and I killed it, I had to love myself first to love you. There was no script anymore, I had to be me and I wanted to be me, I loved me and didn't even know it until I was tired of acting. I didn't want to act being your lady I wanted to be your lady. so I walked away from our love but never from you with the pretty eyes.
Because I don't want to be anyone but me.

online dating...

So my friends have been telling me I need to put myself out there more, try new things like maybe online dating since I'm always complaining of being single and there are no guys left in this world. Then again online dating? It hasn’t come to that yet? mhmm I don’t know about this one. 
Let me clear something up, I be fine girl oh, with gorgeous curves am talking extra meat in all the right places, but in this situation "na condition di make njanga ei back bend" I live in this village or na town oh called Spartanburg in South Carolina, the African community here is nonexistent so if that’s all your going for down here you might as well go and join the convent, well there is always long distance which doesn’t work too well for me, hence am open minded.
Ok and maybe am always busy working and don't go out as much but what happened to those days when you went out to a gathering and some better man will be chatting your ear off, and all you did was smile ear to ear and be making "nyanga". I'm not talking about those overly confident married men who think they can wink at you when their wives are not looking, or those 45year old bachelors who think 25year old women are too old for them (those ones will die alone let them be there) and then there are the high esteem facially and fashion challenged men who think they can get any woman by reciting lyrics of 2face "African queen". ..chai I have suffered.
Anyway after a lot of consideration, research and one good testimony with me being a personal witness (my good friend just got married 2 months ago to her online sweetheart and i was there to witness their matrimony it was beautiful, flawless only love between them eh.. i could feel it) I thought to myself so if there are men like this on the  internet, why not try I'll never know. Well i guess it has come to that.
One beautiful weekend I joined this online dating website that same one that my friend met her hubby on, abeg I wasn't going to take  any chances on any other at least I have living testimony on this one. I created my profile simple yet beautiful and informative. I let the internet work its magic.
The next day I had 14 messages, this internet dating thing is working oh,, ha na so, everyone is just writing me left and right. After a few days I got the jist of this thing, am picking and choosing, am filtering through messages and profiles replying some messages I'm getting into the swing of things.
 A few weeks later I’ve narrowed down the list to 3guys, there is this one guy Chris who had caught my attention he well he was the most persistent, he was also from SA(south Africa), 35years old and descent looking from his picture, had a good job as a computer engineer, so he said. He was talking some sense or maybe just saying things that he thought I wanted to hear either way he had a good way with words. so we exchanged numbers and started talking on the phone. ok is it just me or is there anyone else who is turned off by some men’s voices, when i heard his voice i was so turned off, I can’t even describe it, it was deep and squeaky at the same time and when he spoke it was like he was shouting, then again that’s how some of us Africans like to talk on the phone and just be shouting for no reason. I didn't let that stop me from accepting a meet and greet.
The red flags started pouring in with this guy, he was reciting too many "you're my African queen" songs, "no one like you" " my sweet potato" Chris you have never even met me, how do you know that there is " no one like me" and  he'd say, " I know you are the one for me, I prayed about it, i told you to pray about it, am already claiming you as my wife"
"Please oh don’t claim me as your wife, don’t even claim me as your friend, at least until we meet" I'm thinking to myself let me make sure am talking to a human being first.
 We planned a date for the next weekend, dinner on Saturday. Saturday comes guess who was a no call no show. Chris calls me Monday "am sorry my uncle in SA passed away Saturday" ... if this man is lying eh, " oh am sorry are you okay? My condolences, why didn’t you call me Saturday?" he goes” am sorry i was just in shock all day”  ..."I understand, I’ll be praying for you and your family" i was just hiding my anger oh, I hate being stood up, but I’ll let this one go, he had a death in the family.
I didn’t hear from Chris all week, I texted a few times to check on him, since he was "grieving" but  he didn’t respond, I tried calling once and still no response, Ah na by force? Let me let this one go he is bad news. The next weekend comes in, its Saturday morning am sleeping in, catching up from a long week, Chris called me waking me from my sleep "am coming to see you today"... in my sleep i answered "ok" and hung up " na who this sef'" and went back to sleep, I woke up probably like 2hours after to start my day I had invited some few friends for lunch so I was about to whip up some of my delicacies in the kitchen.
Am all dressed up now and my friends and I enjoying some good food, drinks, and good conversation. Chris called again, " am somewhere around your apartment building what number did you say your apartment was"... huh " what are you doing here?"
"i told you I was coming, i called you this morning what’s your apartment number"
eh so this is the fool that called me this morning, am not ready for this, thank God my friends are here and i had cooked something i guess he could just join in for lunch (am too nice, I should have told him to turn back)
"ehmm ok 733, where exactly are you"
"am already here, can you come outside" am thinking thank God, let me even see him first before I introduce him to my friends if he looks anything like his voice in person him, he is going back to where he came from.
Finally am meeting Chris my online date, he came out from his car, and walked out to me and gave me a hug, “you are beautiful" .... ... " oh thank you" Am looking at him from head to toe in my head, am thinking " gosh what is he wearing are we living in 1995, why is walking like that? Is it because he pulled in a Mercedes Benz, abeg that hatchback is a 1999 model. And which 35yrs old he aint fooling me, he was 35, 5yrs ago with that grey beard" am just diagnosing this guy in my head.
"So do you like what you see? Cause am loving what I see, I knew I had found the one the minute I heard your voice"... I know this man didn’t just ask me that... " erhmm no, am sorry I didn’t think you were seriously coming i wasn’t expecting you."
"Am feeling you, you are perfect, you have pretty eyes..." this man just went on and on I had to stop him...”Thank you, do you want to come in, i have some friends upstairs and we were having some lunch and you are welcome to join" listen to this man "am shy, that’s too much pressure" see me badluck oh, I didn’t invite you. "Well I’ll come up for a few mins”... I was wishing he'll say no.
I introduced him to my girlfriends, " Christa, Naome, Nessie, meet my friend Chris he is from SA he just came up to say hi, he wont stay long (hint)"
We all at the dinner table, talking about everything and nothing, Chris is not talking much thank God, I couldn’t stand his voice, but I noticed he keeps looking at one of my friends, he was whispering something to her I couldn’t really hear but I didn’t pay it any attention. My girlfriends left a little soon after Chris came. am here trying to make conversation am asking questions and everything but he is too busy trying to be touchy feely. Na which kind one be this, “please don't be touching me I barely know you? let’s just sit here and get to know each other.
"Sweetie I can’t help myself am so attracted to you, I can just feel it, i know me and you will be together for a long time, don’t you feel the same?"
'Hah... No oh, I don’t even know you, and ..."
"Don’t worry am very certain you ll like me am very confident about that"... at this point i was done
"Ok we’ll see, am sorry to cut this short but i wasn’t expecting you, and i had already made other plans with my coworkers i can't cancel on them am sorry, maybe another time.."(I had to come up with something)
"Sure I understand, I’ll love to take you out sometime"
"That’s fine just call me...”
Thank God that’s over, what did i get myself into. Was I too harsh? I started to feel little sorry. I called him the next day just to check on him and to clear my conscience after that I didn’t hear from Chris anymore.
The next weekend he called me "How are you doing"
"See who decided to reappear from thin air, am fine how are you?
"How is Christa"
"huh... how is Christa? Are you serious?"
"What’s wrong I can't ask about your friends?"
"You must be joking right?"
"No, she has been on my mind a lot lately, can you tell her to call me sometime?"
"You are a fool, she is never calling you and neither am I"
"What’s the big deal i was wondering if you can hook me up with her"
"You are mad! go and crawl back under that rock you have been living in, you don’t deserve a woman in your life, you will die alone... in short.." i hung up(to be honest I said a few more choice words) he had the nerve, that fool.
Online dating mhmmm... no me oh!

Tough times?..... one word "Daddy"

Daddy was the stricter one, He was also understanding and playful. He loved to tell stories, and still does. African parents know how to combine attributes that you dont think will go so well together very nicely. Mummy, came off softer but feisty and firm at the same time.  Everything you did she told daddy even after you begged her not to tell and she promised she wouldn't. If she couldn't solve a problem by throwing her shoe or slippers at you, you had to write an apology letter now that was different.
Despite everything you know your parents loved you, they might have never been vocal about it growing up " I love you" wasn't a phrase you heard at all, but you felt it, so much love in the home it didn't even have to be said. And they never abandon or gave up on you despite the many threats lol

I have grown up to be this wonderful woman that I am today beacuse of my parents. My mom is my rock and Dad is the best man I know, my motivator. He knows how to lift my spirits its like he can read my mind, he always told me " I Know you more than you know yourself" and he truely does. I was going through some really tough times and my daddy emailed me ... I just wanted to share one of his very uplifting messages to my siblings and I.  Hope it will make your day like it did mine.

"My dear children you are now adults and we ought to be friends as i believe you are a having different experience of what i have had that you ought to share with me and advice me as well.
From my experience, what i can share with you today is related to what i believe life is about.
 As you are living in a hard but nice environment, i am pleased to tell you that you should always be aware that life is all for enjoyment. so don't waste time been unhappy but look for ways to make everything around you pleasant. Enjoy your work, school friends and family members.  Going to school and having diploma does not make you happy at all but, it helps you to have knowledge that makes you to know how to deal with things that can keep you unhappy here in the earth. Neither school and diploma open you ways for wealth; they can only facilitate things for those who are open minded. Many very high diploma holders are poor and some illiterates are very wealthy. make your life to be pleasant first for you and then for others around you. Your parents have been there all this time to guide you out of the experience they have. Seek for advice but be free in your choose. Make your life as you want it to be.
My children, for me success is a concept that mean nothing,  for every body is successful in life as far as he or she is happy with the way they live. so live happily and spread happiness around you then you are successful.
Have a nice and may God bless you all.
i remain your
Daddy"